Center for Assisted Reproduction

Is it wrong to be jealous of someone else's pregnancy?

By CARE Fertility on November 05, 2013

Q:  My best friend just announced her pregnancy.  I know that deep down I'm really happy for her, but right now all I feel is jealousy and anger.  What is wrong with  me?


A:  It may sound strange, but your feelings of jealousy and anger are completely normal.   Women undergoing infertility treatment often experience very raw, primitive emotions that take them by surprise.  The desire to procreate is a powerful one, and you are very likely to experience strong, negative emotions when the goal of having a baby is blocked.  It may help to share with your friend that although on one level you are so happy for her, on another level it is really painful and difficult to see others getting pregnant when you are struggling so hard to conceive.  She will likely appreciate your honesty and any tension or uncomfortableness in your relationship will likely subside, at least for the time being.  Also, go easy on yourself.  Being jealous of friends and co-workers who easily become pregnant does not mean you are a bad person.  You are a normal person who is under a great deal of stress.  The negative emotions will eventually decrease in intensity as you move through treatment, get more information about your particular infertility challenge, and eventually achieve your dream of becoming a parent.



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